Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The ABC's of Who's Going to Hell (a satire).


Inspired by the Holy Spirit, we have written the following book with the intent on leading all souls to accept Jesus as their personal Savior. The book has been written for all ages and is very easy to understand. We have listed the people going to Hell and the reason why they are going to burn in Hell. Be warned: do not socialize with any of the kinds of people listed in this book, for Satan has a firm grasp on their souls, and they will try to lead you astray by appealing to science, history, reason, logic, and common sense, which are all instruments of Satan.
May your soul remain in the truth and light that is Jesus, and may your soul never be led astray.
The Union Preachers.

A is for Atheists. They don't believe in God
B is for Bill Clinton. He likes to smoke weed. See also: Perverts and Fornicators
C is for Catholics. Idolators of Statues consumers of cookie christs.
D is for Darwinists. They think we came from apes.
E is for Everyone not in our Church. What they believe is wrong, and they will burn in Hell for it.
F is for Fornicators. God does not forgive fornicators.
G is for Gays. God hates gays (It says so in the Bible).
H is for Harry Potter and the people who read his books. He is turning the world into satan worshiping witches.
I is for Islam. They believe Jesus isn't God.
J is for Jews. They killed Christ and will burn in Hell for it.
K is for Kiss. Rock and roll is the Devil (it says so in the Bible).
L is for Louisiana State University. They are whoremongers, fornicators, and drunkards.
M is for Mormons. God only allows for one spouse.
N is for Nazis. They Hate everyone.
O is for Osama Bin Laden. Religious Intolerance.
P is for Perverts. God doesn't forgive perverts.
Q is for Quakers. God hates oatmeal (It says so in the Bible).
R is for Residential Life. They give people the shaft.
S is for Satanists. They worship the Devil.
T is for Taoist. Their way is wrong. Our way is right.
U is for Unitarianists. They think God is for everyone.
V is for Voodooists. They will burn in Hell because we say so.
W is for Wiccans. See: Satanists.
X is for Xena. Heaven is for Feminists (It says so in the Bible.).
Y is for You. If you don't believe what we tell you, you will burn in Hell.
Z is for Zodiacs. See: Wiccans and Satanists.

If you would like the original powerpoint version feel free to contact me.

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