Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Vatican News Flash

VATICAN CITY: Just moments ago the Roman Catholic Church confirmed the rumors about a new Vatican office. Limited information has been released about the new office. The extent of the office's authority has not been disclosed, but it is assumed that its power will be universal. Vatican officials have reported that the new office is titled The Pontifical Office of the Liturgical Police.

Due to their dress of black and mandatory stylish ray bans given to each recruit upon assignment to the Pontifical Office, the Liturgical Police have already been given the alias Men in Black. Vatican Officials also reported that Benedict XVI hand picked the first squad of priests. The requirements to be part of the new office are stringent as each member must be trained in the ways of liturgy, speak latin and 5 other languages, have grey hair, and know how to blend into every culture in the world -- including women's reading circles, halloween masses, and coffee shops. Not explicitly stated, the Liturgical Police are expected to employ help from every kind of person ranging from small children, street bums, professionals, gutter punks, and teenagers. The more it looks that a person is disinterested in liturgical abuses and misuses means that it is most likely that they will be working with the Liturgical Police.

The purpose of the office is to lay the smack down on heresy and end liturgical abuses.

Above and left is a picture of the first recruits after receiving their initial assignments.

Below is a picture of some of the equipment they will be using when on pursuit of those people who participate and promote liturgical abuses.

31 comments:

Mike said...

Dear Santa...Please make it so!

INDOLENT SERVER said...

very very very funny. There was a a couple of guys at Mass who used to call themselves the liturgical police oif which I was in-training.

MikeInNC said...

Men in Black?

Men in Black?

Men in Black?

BTW, I'm told by a very informed high-level inside source, that their slogan will not be 'To protect and to serve', but 'Say the black, do the red.'

Elizabeth J. Neal said...

Limited information has been released about the new office. The extent of the office's authority has not been disclosed, but it is assumed that its power will be universal. Vatican

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Vikash Sharma said...

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How to collect SSC Result 2019?
There are many ways for collecting SSC Result 2019. In this post we talk about all the possible ways to collect your SSC Result. Firstly, you can collect your SSC Result by sending mobile sms. Secondly, you can collect your result by visiting SSC Vocational Result 2019. Thirdly, you can collect your desired result from your educational institutes. You can get the SSC result 2019 in different ways. Below are some of the most popular ways to discuss the details.
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Shahriar Hossain said...

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Secondary School Certificate or SSC is a government test that is taken under 9 education board of Bangladesh. In order to participate in this examination, students from the school, approved by the Bangladesh Education Board in the 10th grade must have passed the test and students have to sit in the main examination on the date set by the Board. This test is also known as Maddhomik Exam. Secondary School Certificate or SSC test is introduced from many years. Although the results of divisional results for the first two years have been given in grading methods since 2011. Dakhil is a government test for Madrasah students approved by the Education Board of Bangladesh in the 10th grade equivalent of Secondary School Certificate or SSC Dakhil Result 2019, which is taken under Bangladesh Madrasah Education Board.
When SSC Result 2019 will be published?
The date is not declared yet. SSC Result will be published within 60 days after completing the exam. Every year the result is published on May 7. We can assume that the result will be published before April 30, 2019. There may be a slight change on the date of publication of the SSC Result 2019 Marksheet. When the results are published, you can easily find your results from our website. Before knowing the results, let us know about some information about SSC exam 2019. You can easily get SSC results 2019 from here. On the date of SSC result every year, Education Minister handed over the results to the Prime Minister. Like every year, he will be giving results to the Prime Minister this morning. Then the education board website will be published.
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Courtesy: SSC Result 2019 Mobile SMS

Shahriar Hossain said...

এসএসসি রেজাল্ট ২০১৯ দেখার নিয়ম
আমরা বিভিন্নভাবে এসএসসি রেজাল্ট ২০১৯ দেখতে পারি। সবাই জানি যে রেজাল্ট প্রকাশিত হলে বাংলাদেশ শিক্ষা বোর্ড এর সবগুলো ওয়েবসাইট ডাউন হয়ে যায়। অতিরিক্ত ভিজিটরের কারণে সার্ভার ডাউন হয়ে যায়। ডাউন থাকলেও আমরা রেজাল্ট দেখে দিতে পারব। সেজন্য আপনাদের যা করতে হবে তা বলছি। এই পোষ্টের নিচের দিকে লক্ষ্য করলে দেখবেন যে কমেন্ট করার অপশন আছে। এখানে আপনারা আপনাদের শিক্ষা বোর্ডের নাম এবং রোল নাম্বার লিখে দিবেন। আর যারা মার্কশিট সহ রেজাল্ট দেখতে চান তারা রেজিস্ট্রেশন নাম্বার দিবেন। এখন আমরা এস এস সি রেজাল্ট ২০১৯ দেখার অন্যান্য উপায় গুলো নিয়ে আলোচনা করব।
নাম্বারসহ এসএসসি রেজাল্ট ২০১৯ দেখার নিয়ম
আপনাদের অনেকের মনে প্রশ্ন কিভাবে ডিগ্রি ৩য় বর্ষের রেজাল্ট ২০১৯ ডাউনলোড করব? সমাধান নিয়ে হাজির হলাম। এখানে কীভাবে নম্বরসহ রেজাল্ট দেখবেন তার বিস্তারিত নিয়ম বর্ণনা করা হলো।
• প্রথমে ইন্টারনেট কানেকশন আছে এমন ডিভাইস থেকে, মোবাইল বা কম্পিউটার বা ল্যাপটপ হতে পারে। এই লিংকে প্রবেশ করুন
• http://www.educationboardresults.gov.bd/ or Board Result.com
• তারপর মেনু থেকে এসএসসি দাখিল বা ইকুইভালেন্ট সিলেক্ট করুন
• তারপর পরীক্ষার সাল 2019 নির্বাচন করুন।
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• পরের শূন্য স্থানের রেজিস্ট্রেশন নাম্বার দেন।
• সবশেষে গণিত সমাধান করুন।
• তারপর সাবমিট বাটনে ক্লিক করুন।
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Shahriar Hossain said...

Zero Education is an educational website. It publishes university admission circulars of various national and international universities. It is to create university admission related educational material. It helps students to prepare themselves well for University Admission test. Here you get educational material for admission test of Dhaka University, Rajshahi University, Chittagong University and all other public and private universities in Bangladesh. Recently several college admission circular has been published. All of them are published in Zero Education. Majority of students apply for xi Class Admission. This year the admission circular has a new surprise. Full application procedure are given in the admission circular. See the details admission circular and total seat of affiliated colleges for admission 2019-2020. You can apply online for College Admission in Bangladesh. Students can apply online or Taletalk SMS System. But it is easy for online to apply HSC college admission 2019-20. There are many new opportunities for students. This time they get special discount for college admission. You can admit into any government and private college for HSC Admission. HSC Admission Circular 2019-2020 will be published very soon.

MaNusH said...

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SSC Result BD said...

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SSC Result BD said...


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Shahriar Hossain said...

xiclassadmission gov bd has announced two admission notices. They are HSC Admission Circular 2019 & College Admission Circular 2019. Applications are invited from interested students. If you are interested in applying there, you can apply for Apply Online XI Class Admission.
When the application process is over, the admission authority will announce the admission result.
College Admission result 2019 is the hottest topic in Bangladesh right now. People from here and there are searching for the admission test result. If you are one of them, then cool down! You come to the right place. Because from here, you can easily collect your College Admission result. Read this article carefully to learn how to download your college admission result 2019. There are many ways for collecting College Admission Result 2019. In this post, I will discuss some of them very popular. HSC Admission Result 2019 is given in three or four phases. First college admission result is published in the very first day of the result. Students can admit in their desired college. But if someone fails to do so, they can get 2nd chance. So, the admission authority announce 2nd time xiclassadmission gov bd result. Collect the result from University Admission.
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Shahriar Hossain said...

Degree Routine has been published by National University Bangladesh. Degree Suggestion is very important for Degree students. They are now taking preparation for their final examination. They got stuck by the news that NU authority has changed 2nd year examination routine which is declared some days ago. But it is a great news for some national university students. We have collected the new suggestion for your help. Read this post carefully to collect your examination routine.
Degree English Suggestion
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Shahriar Hossain said...

HSC Result 2019 Published Date in Bangladesh
HSC Result 2019 has been published by Education Board Bangladesh. There were numerous concepts and comments around about the HSC Exam Result. Many thought that the result would be published on July 22, 2019. Learn HSC Result 2019 published date. This year HSC Exam starts on April 01, 2019 and exam ends on May 14, 2019. In this article, we are going to discuss about how to download/check/get HSC Exam Result 2019.
HSC Result 2019 will be published on July 21, 2019. This date is confirmed by several high authentic source from the education ministry of Bangladesh. After the publication of the result, you can get HSC Result 2019 Marksheet from this link. Remember that from now on you can check your HSC Result 2019 by SMS HSC Alim Result 2019 and HSC Vocational Result 2019

Shahriar Hossain said...

HSC Result 2019 Published Date in Bangladesh
HSC Result 2019 has been published by Education Board Bangladesh. There were numerous concepts and comments around about the HSC Exam Result. Many thought that the result would be published on July 22, 2019. Learn HSC Result 2019 published date. This year HSC Exam starts on April 01, 2019 and exam ends on May 14, 2019. In this article, we are going to discuss about how to download/check/get HSC Exam Result 2019.
HSC Result 2019 will be published on July 21, 2019. This date is confirmed by several high authentic source from the education ministry of Bangladesh. After the publication of the result, you can get HSC Result 2019 Marksheet from this link. Remember that from now on you can check your HSC Result 2019 by SMS HSC Alim Result 2019 and HSC Vocational Result 2019

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