Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Top 10 Other Things Found In Jesus' Lost Tomb.

Top 10 Other Things Found in Jesus’ Lost Tomb (according not to James Cameron).

10. Left Over Wine from the Wedding at Canna.
9. Dust.
8. Jimmy Hoffa’s Body.
7. Hot Air courtesy of the filmmakers.
6. Buy One Get One Free Coupon for Dominos.
5. The recipe for the Colonel’s secret batter.
4. An autographed copy of the Bible.
3. The Directions for solving a Rubix Cube.
2. The Latest style of Air Moses’.
1. A group of dumbfounded individuals wondering why they didn’t find anything.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Lent Mart

Check out the Curt Jester's Lent Mart. It has some useful Lenten items. Personally, I'm waiting for the new line of this years unfashionable Penitential Sackcloth undershirts. Here is last year's style -- the sleeveless ringer was really in then.

Monday, February 26, 2007

What I Wish I Could Give up For Lent!

1. Long Lines
2. School
3. Work
4. Sleepless nights
5. Body Odor
6. Morning Breath
7. Rush Hour Traffic
8. Bad Drivers
9. Annoying people.
10. Giving up things
11. Crooked politicians
12. Dirty Laundry
13. People who don't agree with everything I say.

Clearly I cannot give up many of these thing. Why? Cause they are good for me. Sadly, but true. They form virtues and character. That is, they make me better.

What do these things teach me?
1. Teaches me patients.
2. Develops Temperance.
3. How to stay on task.
4. Perseverance when I am tired the next day.
5. Prudence.
6. Prudence again.
7. Patience.
8. Keeps me alert.
9. Courage. (Hey they are annoying!). Maybe even Charity.
10. Sacrifice.
11. How to handle injustices.
12. Fortitude.
13. Humility.

Although I can't give up these things, I can certain give them up to God, and in doing so make them a pray during Lent.

'We Love Jesus'

A Catholic School Principal sentences a group of students for chanting 'we love Jesus' at a recent basketball game to sensitivity training. Chant was deemed anti-semitic.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Jesus', Mary's, and Joseph's Coffin Are Found!

The cave in which Jesus Christ was buried has been found in Jerusalem, claim the makers of a new documentary film.

If it proves true, the discovery, which will be revealed at a press conference in New York Monday, could shake up the Christian world as one of the most significant archeological finds in history.

In Other News: Jesus Found In Man's Heart; Hobbit Town in New Zealand.

Hey, God Made the Fart

There was a brother at my high school who, when asked, "What was God's greatest gift to humanity?" he would answer very mater of fact "The Fart". And if you asked him what he meant, he would reply "It made you smile." He was right. His answer always made us smile. Maybe he was a little immature, but then again most guys are. No mater how many times I have seen this it never gets boring and it makes me laugh. Besides flatulence is part of the unseriousness of existence.

Friday, February 23, 2007


Just because we are abstaining from meat today and reflecting on the passion of Christ doesn't mean we can't have a little humor in our lives.

WATCH THIS: They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard

Nietzsche's Will To Power Bar: Have Your Power and Eat It Too!

This really is not a joke. It is a real genuine product. The bar description says it contains all the vitamins a person needs like other power bars. What I want to know is will it help me be an Uberman or will it just make me go crazy and end up in a mental ward?

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

See Why the Aggie Catholic Quit Engineering

Why He Quit Engineering. It is so literal. Kind of like using a fork-lift to lift forks.

Sash Wednesday

ANYHOW TOWN, USA (2.21.07) – Earlier today an entire class of sophomores at St. John’s Catholic High were given uniform violations and sent home until said violations were corrected. The violation issued to 67 of the 68 sophomore students was due to the students’ arrival at school wearing sashes. School administration appeared to be unhappy about the incident. Principal, John Schmidt had the following to say: “I have no idea how this occurred or how this happened. I don’t know what kind of prank these kids are pulling, but I don’t like it. To make a mockery of a holy day by wearing sashes to school. This is a disgrace to the St. John name. These students are lucky I don’t suspend each and every one of them.”

As a whole, the sophomore class seemed dumb founded by the Administration's actions. Class President, Tommy Jones, commented on the situation. He said, “It wasn’t our fault. We were just doing what we were told. This was by mo means a prank of any sort. The really issue is that Mr. Clarke, our religion teacher, has a really bad lisp. We all thought he was saying that we were celebrating ‘sash Wednesday’ this week. Then just before dismissal yesterday he made a comment about ‘in sashes we come and in sashes we go.’ These accusations are clearly false, as we have all be wrongfully accused of violations we did not wrongfully commit. If the Sash doesn’t fit then the administration must acquit.”

There was one lone student who was not sent home. Apparently she thought that she would be receiving a sash today.

Mr. Clarke was unavailable for comment.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Pistol

I love Pistol Pete. It is clear to see how this one man influenced so many NBA players. His ball handling skills are out of this world!

Saint John Coltrane of San Francisco, Pray Play for Us.

Saint John Coltrane Church of San Francisco My Jazz improve professor once told me about this place. I can't help but laugh out loud when I see this. I wonder if they have a Miles Davis Mission? I'm no expert, but I don't think the Catholic Church will be adding him to the litany of saints any time sooon. Be sure to check out the icons.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

The Church is "Alive and Young" says the Pope.

Nothings beats a plug from the Pope. Clearly someone has been reading my blog.
VATICAN CITY, FEB. 16, 2007 ( The Church is alive and full of youth, Benedict XVI said when presenting a prayer he composed for the young people of Italy.

The Holy Father recited his composition Wednesday when meeting in St. Peter's Basilica with bishops of the Marche region in Italy, on the occasion of their five-yearly visit.

The prelates were accompanied by pilgrims of the dioceses in the region, many of them young people. When the youths applauded the Pope, he responded: "We see that the Church is alive and young!"
Click on the above link to read the prayer. It is very nice.

Friday, February 16, 2007

What About that Osama...uhhh Obama guy?

Apparently the New York Post made a big typo recently. They corrected ASAP, but if you want to read the article go here.

Don't for get to watch Wolf apologize for CNN's Obama/Osama blunder.

Ohh and don't forget about the Osama Obama Grove. The mistake is understandable after watching this. I mean, they look almost alike...when I squint really hard, in a dark room, with my computer shut.

Grass Roots Abortion War

Time Magazine does a lengthy article on abortion.
The pregnancy-center clinic, with its new ultrasound machine, has been open only since December, but already the staff can count the women who came in considering an abortion and changed their minds: five women converted, six lives saved, they declare, since one was carrying twins. "They connected," nurse Joyce Wilson says, recalling the reaction of the women who saw the filmy image of their fetus onscreen. "They bonded. You could just see it. One girl got off the table and said, 'That's my baby.'"

Women in the Early Church Were By No Means Secondary.

Women in the Early Church Were By No Means Secondary On Valentine's Day the pope delivered a message at his general audience on the importance of women in the early days of Christianity. He said:
In sum, the history of Christianity would have developed very differently if the generous contribution of many women had not taken place. For this reason, as my venerated and beloved predecessor, John Paul II, wrote in the apostolic letter "Mulieris Dignitatem": "Therefore, the Church gives thanks for each and every woman. ... The Church gives thanks for all the manifestations of the feminine 'genius' which have appeared in the course of history, in the midst of all peoples and nations; she gives thanks for all the charisms which the Holy Spirit distributes to women in the history of the People of God, for all the victories which she owes to their faith, hope and charity: She gives thanks for all the fruits of feminine holiness" (No. 31).

Parish Survival Advice for Men.

So guys, sorry ladies, find yourself working in full time parish ministry? Need some advice. Here is a nice handy-dandy survival package submitted for your approval.

Running Shoes are a must. You will be constantly running into all sorts of grandmas and widows who will cook for you and bring you fresh baked cookies. You need the shoes so that you can stay healthy. Simply owning shoes will not keep you healthy. You need to wear them and go running.

Your church will probably provide you with an out of date, slower than molasses, hunk of junk desktop. Bring your own. Be prepared to have all computer related question addressed to you.

You will need a bag. Not so much for your computer, but for all those Religious Ed documents, paper work, and notes you will need for later. Parish ministry ain't 9-5, but at least you can work from home from time to time.

Ear plugs. Yeah I know. Sounds like a strange item. Remember, you are working in a parish with a staff of mostly all women. More gossip will occur in the office then what most men will know what to do with. In order to save yourself -- more importantly your soul -- buy a pair (in fact buy two and give one set to the priest-- he will take you for them later) and USE THEM. The other alternative is to use a white-noise machine. Ear plugs are cheeper, and you can carry them in your pocket.

Meetings are a drag in nearly every job. What can be acomplished in 5 mins often takes 75. I try to keep the meetings entertaining for myself. So I like to submit proposals like this one here to keep it interesting. The proposal did not go over well. People just don't know how to take a joke some days. Geezsh.

Chocolate is your leverage in the ministry world. Need an extra $50 bucks for your program? Buy some chocolates. Put them on the lunch room table. Wait till the head of your program (most likely a women) chows down on a few pieces then engage her in a to the point dialogue about the $50 you need for your project. Nine times out of ten, this will work.

Your co-worders (besides the priest) will mostly likely consist of all women of post-menopausal age. I've found this book helpful in dealing with women of said type.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Abstinence, contraceptives don't mix

A nice piece on Abstinence and Contraception by Emily Byers

What I Learned in My Undergraduate English Classes.

I am currently working on a paper for my Patristic Exegesis class I am taking this Spring and for some reasom I found myself reflecting on my undergraduate years as an English education major and what I learned, or did not learn, in my English classes. Hope you enjoy. I know I had more fun writing this than I am having while writing my PE paper on Irenaeus' Theology of a Created Good and recapitulation. SO here it is:

What I Learned in Undergraduate English Classes: how to passes your english class.

After spending more years than I would like to admit at a certain unnamed institute of higher learning in Louisiana, near countless hours in English classes, and reading over many hundred books of fiction, history, and religion during my time at the university, I have developed a couple of strategies that have helped me cope with my inability to be an English scholar. The first two deal with the writing process, while the last with literature.

Here I will share these points:

First, learn to use the comma. This is perhaps the most overly used punctuation in English and should be used less than what most expect. There are only five simple rules that encompass this slouching mark. Most of which can be found in the Strunk and White book on style and writing. It is amazing how many professors think you write well because you know how to use the comma. I do not consider myself a master craftsman, and I often struggle when writing the five-paragraph theme we all learned in high school; research papers are right-out for me. But I learned to use the comma and managed to pass most of my writing and literature classes with a “B” average.

Second, do not, by any means, use clear and concise language when writing a paper. You will cause your professor’s brain to malfunction and explode at such simple language. Instead, use big words like auspicious or necrencephalus or strobilation -- the larger the word the better. I strongly suggest concealing the meaning of the paper from yourself: the use of big words will aid in this, for if you conceal the meaning from yourself you have also concealed it from your professor who will be unable to agree or disagree with your topic. Out of fear of feeling stupid and small minded, he or she will not ask you what you mean. The professor will instead return your paper unmarked except for the grade on the last page. You will surely receive a “B” or possibly an “A-“ – provided the comma was used properly.

Most literature professors, by their own faults and attempts to be smart, will managed to ruin a person’s literary experience. I can no longer read a novel and enjoy it. Where most people can read a novel for mere enjoyment and say things like “what a story, a real page turner” or “What a delightful piece of work;” I cannot do such things. The majority of professors seem more interested with beating the meaning out of the text (as if it were a person under interrogation) and deconstructing it to the extent that the beauty, style, and pleasure normally associated with reading a novel, play or poem are lost: Hamlet is no longer ponderous and Wilde is no longer witty. Literature in this context may go from being an enjoyable hobby to an unavoidable misery. As it will become as pleasurable as drinking old coffee flavored with castor oil.

This brings me to the third point: interpreting literature. I am horrible at interpreting literature. Fortunately, I developed techniques for the interpretation of literature in the college classroom. Here are those techniques: 1. If you are unaware of the meaning of a passage and your professor asks you the meaning of a passage simply reply “sex.” The professor will surely nod in agreement. If a worm destroys a rose it is not about the destruction or loss of beauty, or if grey waves break over rocks at the bottom of a cliff it is most certainly sex. 2. Males in the story that display stereotypical maleness (drinking, gambling, swearing, supporting their wives etc.) are definitely gay and are hiding their true sexuality behind their male behavior – likewise with the female counterpart. 3. All siblings in every text are defiantly practicing incest. It does not matter if they were separated at birth and have not seen each other for 30 years and live on opposite sides of the world. They are practicing incest. 4. Reason, logic, critical thought, and common sense are to be left at the door before entering any literature class. Use of only one of the above in an academic setting will certainly cause any Phd to fumble and will contradict all scholarly ideas. Never, under any circumstance, ask the professor to apply any research they have done directly to life. Their mind with surely stall like a flooded engine and prove useless for some time after.

In order to get the real meaning from a text the best, easiest and most effective means of doing this is to ask the Professor what he or she thinks the text means then disagree with his or her interpretation. Usually the contrary to the professor’s opinions are highly accurate. For example, if the professor says that passage “x” is about sex, simply raise your hand and say, “I disagree, it is clearly about the celibatory nature of medieval monks in 14th century Germany.” If nothing else a laugh can be had by all and the general happiness of the class can be raised a little if by some act of God you are wrong and the professor right.

Please feel free to think, meditate, and embrace any of the above points. Also, feel free to use any of the interpretation techniques I have mentioned – they have been tried and tested and have been proven successful.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

One Valentine's Day Gift Guys Should Pass On Giving...

He'd reather lie then tell his wife the truth

A California man allegedly decided it was better to tell police he'd been kidnapped than to tell his wife he smashed up her new car.

What I Saw Upon Reading The Vagina Monologues.

[a repost, sorry for all the reposting lately, just been super busy preparing a retreat for a confirmation group this coming weekend]

With the approach of Valentine’s Day, I finally got the nerve to see what all the fuss has been about on Catholic campuses due to the infamous The Vagina Monologues. Now I know.

I do not wish to discuss whether or not the play should be allowed on college campuses; ultimately, that is not my decision. But I can’t help to comment that there have been many things done in the name of academic freedom, some of which have been important to the advancements in the academic world, while others have not been so important. What I will share are my observations on the book.

Eve Ensler, in her introduction, makes it explicitly known to the reader that her goal is to end violence against women – a noble and important cause that all people should strive to accomplish, but not just towards women. The ultimate goal for all peoples is to end undue violence against the innocent of all genders, races, and creeds. With all the words Eve spends discussing violence against women and what the V-Day movement has accomplished over the last nine year, one might suspect that the majority of monologues to deal with such subject mater. If this had been the case, her book would have driven the point home hard. Instead, the contrary was true. For every one story about a women being abused there were ten others on women’s sexual exploration or sexual education/liberation.

What does Eve mean by sexual education or liberation? In the context of the monologues this turns not into a discovery of the human person, but translates into women learning how to masturbate, women learning how to achieve an orgasm, women having sexual escapades with not only men but also women. Women seem to learn less about who they are as persons and more about how to pleasure themselves. It is no wonder that Catholic campuses across the nation have protests about production of this play. One can’t help but wonder if Eve is promoting such interests or just merely presenting issues from various females’ lives.

However, what bothers me the most about Eve’s book is not so much the content but how the female human person is presented to the reader. By trying to lift women up she manages only to tear them down and fall into the exact thing she is trying to avoid. Her view of the female person is dismal at best. Ask what is woman and undoubtedly she would reply “vagina.” In other words, she reduces women from being a glorious being, a person with feelings, thoughts, ideas, dreams, and emotions to a vagina: a mere body part meant to be gratified and pleasured. Women go from beings with sexuality to mere sexual beings rooted not in love for the human person but in mere sex. As if the part is not so much greater then the whole, but the part is the whole.

There are other groups who reduce women to nothing more than a vagina. The first group is called pimps. The other group is the stereotypical male who has no respect for women.

Much of Eve’s writings might seem radical to the literary world, but she talks about vaginas in the same light as high-school boys talk about their penises. Men for eons have been naming their genitals and asking such questions as “What would it wear?” or “What would it say?” Such behavior is often left behind in high school or shortly there after in most decent men.

Yet, Eve feels the need to engage in such antics as she provides not an open forum for discussing sexuality in a mature manner so much as she presents a sophomoric attitude towards sexuality and women that are degrading to the extent that women are reduced to mere sexual objects, nothing more than a giant, walking, pulsating, vagina.

To answer Sr. Mary Eve, who recently wrote an article defending the monologues on, as to “Why has The Vagina Monologues been protested by a vocal minority of Catholics when it has been offered on Catholic campuses?” Simply put we don’t want women lowering themselves to the level of men – specifically, sophomoric, high school, boys.

Still, the whole purpose of The Vagina Monologues seemed to be aimed at that end: women wanting to become the poorest example of men. I can’t say much about “V-day,” but my personal experiences have been very negative with down right male bashing. As if beating down men will make women greater and amend for the many years of injustice towards women. As if charging men fifty cents more for a candy bar because of the mere fact that they are of a different gender will provide reparation for the sins against women. I doubt fifty cents will heal a soul. Hold on here! Isn’t that what Eve and other feminist organizations have been saying that men have been doing to women for centuries: beating women down? Why the need for a role reversal? Why do women now feel the need to step down off the porch and wallow in the mud with the men like pigs? Men have been throwing enough feces at one another. Must women now partake also in the flinging of feces? According to Eve and the other organizations that support “V-day” it is a firm “yes.”

Also, any person with a beating heart knows that the only way to overcome and defeat the evils and injustices in the world is to respond with an even greater act of love. And so I ask Eve Ensler, “Where is the love in your book?” “Where is the love in your vagina?” “How has your book responded in love to evil?” I saw little love in the book. In fact, it was just the opposite of love I saw: it was use of the human person on a number of levels. All she produces in her book is use that is love unknown, a lazy nature of an inordinate lapsed kind, a misappropriation of urge and desire, a bent vector, a crooked word, love misspelled.

Finally, I can’t say I didn’t take away anything positive from the text. Eve is a talented writer, which makes it impossible not to take away anything. I think the real issue is not “Why have so many women been abused?” but more importantly “Why have men allowed such injustices to occur?” “Why has the world been producing such poor specimens of men who allow such abuse to happen?” “Aren’t men, traditionally, to be the protectors of women?” If the amount of women that have been abused is as great as Eve Ensler leads her reader to believe then men: We have failed our women.

Here are two links to some other views on the "Monologues."
"Monologues" not what we need. By Christina Dehan
Engage in contemporary culture. By Professor Gary Anderson

Also check out The Edith Stein Project.
From the Site:
In fall of 2004, a group of undergraduate women at Notre Dame gathered to beginning planning the first conference, which was held last February, entitled “The Edith Stein Project: Redefining Feminism”. They felt strongly that this conversation needed to take place here at the University of Notre Dame, where modern culture and Catholicism intersect in a unique way.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Versace calls Hillary Masculine

"[Hillary] should treat femininity as an opportunity and not try to emulate masculinity in politics. Video Link.

Research shows that God did speak world into existence.

A science student in Kentucky says when the Bible records God spoke, and things were created, that's just what happened, and he can support that with scientific experiments.

In other news: Water discovered to be wet.

A young Nun Defends The Vagina Monologues

From the Story
"For the first time, women have a public forum in which to process their experience in a mature way. So, I am left with the question: Why has The Vagina Monologues been protested by a vocal minority of Catholics when it has been offered on Catholic campuses?"

And Two Shall Become None

via Cosmo Via the Modesty Zone
The October 2006 Cosmo recommends men and women listen to different music tracks while um, being intimate--so as to "be in two different worlds at the same time."

Stay tuned for next month, on the joys of talking on your cell phone in the bedroom. For the totally disconnected experience!
Cosmo really says a lot for the unifying experience of the marital embrace. I guess Cosmo's theology of the body is that two shall become none.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Biggest Ministry Haha in AGES!

Youth pastor from Colorado has a slip of the tongue.

Is John Edwards a racsist, anti religious, bigot?

Catholic League President, Bill Donohue thinks so after Edwards refused to fire his campaign bloggers both of whom posted anti-catholic statements on their personal blogs. Donohue even referred to Edwards as "nothing more than David Duke with a blow-dried haircut."

Vatican Address on Labor to the UN

UN Address

In the Address the vatican restates the importance of equal pay for equal work regardless of gender and just wages/family wages to name two. All-in-all there were six challenges to labor:
1. A balance is needed "between economic development on the one hand and social justice on the other."
2. Equality between men and women in the workplace
3. The need to assist working parents, "if necessary, by law, to bring their own unique and irreplaceable contribution to the upbringing of their children, to the evident benefit of the whole of society."
4. Overcoming poverty
5. Allowing the aged to contribute to the workforce if they are willing and still healty.
6. The need for laws to protect and help migrant and immigrant workers, so that they can contribute to a healthy labor force of the host country in which they are working.
Here are the last few paragraphs that discuss immigration and migrant workers:
On a topic now related to that of ageing, migrants have become an important source of labor. They not only earn a salary for themselves and their families but, if allowed to do so by legislators and their electorates, they will also become an important source of wealth for their host countries by maintaining standards of living through their contribution to the host economy.

Migrants are often motivated by the simple wish to work in order to support their families. They too deserve equal pay and equal protection under the law, not least because the jobs they do are often the ones that no one else wants.

Legal arrangements should be made to allow families to reunite, not only for the sanity of family life, but also to the social and moral benefit of the communities around them. Too often a lack of normal family life leads to evils such as human trafficking and prostitution on the margins of migrant communities. The market for such modern slavery could be undermined by allowing families to live together in the receiving country.

Work itself should be decent. The Holy See understands decent work as that which is both properly remunerated and worthy of the human person. Work is a right but it is also the duty of all people to contribute to the good of their society and the whole human family. Work is dignified by the people who do it; but it must also be dignified in itself.

Full employment and decent work cannot include work that is not as safe as possible, justly remunerated or worthy of the human person. If work is an essential part of our human vocation, only decent work in this sense can ever be suitable for the promotion of human dignity and the achievement of social development.

Does Richard Dawkins Exist?

Thanks to Mark Shea

Friday, February 09, 2007

San Francisco Archbishop is Gay for Gays

San Francisco, Feb 7, 2007 / 07:25 pm (CNA).- Speaking to a local radio station on Sunday, San Francisco Archbishop George Niederauer said he is “really very happy” about a compromise plan that makes it possible for Catholic Charities adoption workers in his archdiocese to refer homosexual couples to adopt children.

Interesting story.

Rose(ary) Bowl

Gather with other faithful in massive numbers in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena to pray the timeless prayer of the Rosary for peace in our world

To enhance the prayer lives of our families, ourselves and our communities
To strengthen unity in our homes and communities
To help foster world peace
all through the intercession of Our Mother Mary and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit.
Date is set for May 19th.

Super Bowl Proposal a Bust: On to Plan B

SEATTLE, Washington (AP) -- Rand Fishkin wanted to propose to his girlfriend with a Super Bowl ad. That didn't quite work out, but there was still local TV, and he got the answer he wanted. I waited all Super Bowl to see this, but it never happened. Click to link read the story and find the proposal.


Middle Tenn. to help rebuild the New Orleans Branch of Southern University. Southern is one of Louisiana's HBCUs (Historically Black College and University).

Biblical Curse Generator

Lost for a smart remark to see off your enemies? Unable to deliver that killer insult? Put an end to "I was speechless!" misery with the amazing Biblical Curse Generator, which is pre-loaded with blistering put-downs as delivered by Elijah, Jeremiah and other monumentally angry saints. Simply click the button below, and get ready to smite your foes with a custom-made curse straight out of the Old Testament.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

I Blog Therefore I am:College students find existence online

AN FRANCISCO--Despite all of the fear that kids are leaving permanent digital footprints when they post personal stuff online, college students think it would be even weirder if someone didn't exist on the Web.

The Most Honest Man in America: A New York Cabbie

NEW YORK (AP) -- A taxi driver returned a black bag carrying 31 diamond rings to a passenger who earlier had given him a 30-cent tip on an $11 ride

Saving Those Damned Catholics

WASHINGTON, DC, February 7, 2007 ( - "Saving Those Damned Catholics" exposes the warts on the underbelly of the Catholic leadership in America today, and it is not a pretty picture. Too many among them are caught up in a twisted vision of what it takes to effectively lead Catholics. There is too much moral relativism and too little desire to say what is right, especially when doing so will bring down the wrath of the media and maybe even a few politicians."

Click on the link to reading the interview with Brown, author of "Saving Those Damned Catholics."

Sleeping with the Pope

Ever wanted to sleep with a pope? Now you can.Click Here to Find out More Or here if B16 isn't your style.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

10 Things You Shouldn't Buy Used

According to MSN Money, here are 10 things you should not buy used.
1. Laptops
2. Car Seats
3. Plasma TVs
4. DVD Players
5. Vacuum Cleaners
6. Camcorders
7. Shoes
8. Mattresses
9. Wet Suites
10. Helmets
10 things you shouldn't buy used according to me:
1. Gum
2. deodorant
3. Flat Tires
4. Toothbrushes
5. Another Person's Soul
6. Toilet Paper
7. Broken Kitchen Appliances
8. Lottery Tickets (unless it won)
9. Tea Bags
10. Underwear
Can you add more to the list?

Instant Ordination: Pick Your Poison

Ever wanted to be a minister but didn't want to wait or go through those years and years of boring old professors giving you the same boring old lectures? Well you are in luck. Through the modern advances in technology you can become a minister hassle free and no questions asked. You thought the catholic priest scandal was bad? Just wait till we are done. Your religion not listed? That's ok. Feel free to pick a new one from any of the ones below. Not sure which to choose? Just become a minister at all of them!

Spiritual Humanism

Temple of Earth

Universal Life Church

New Horizons

Rose Ministries

This is sad there there are places that really give instant ordination.

Evolution Debate Heates Up Again

NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) -- Deep in the dusty, unlit corridors of Kenya's national museum, locked away in a plain-looking cabinet, is one of mankind's oldest relics: Turkana Boy, as he is known, the most complete skeleton of a prehistoric human ever found.

Chewbacca Strikes Back

That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that. ... or at least headbutt a few people.

Kids and Internet Porn

42 percent of Internet users ages 10 to 14 have viewed sexual images.
CHICAGO - More children and teens are being exposed to online pornography, mostly by accidentally viewing sexually explicit Web sites while surfing the Internet, researchers say.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Today's Holy Health Advice: Churchos

Even the church has jumped on the health food wagon.

Paris Hilton Upsets Gay People

HOLLYWOOD - Gay rights leaders in Los Angeles are calling on Paris Hilton to explain herself after making a series of anti-gay and racial slurs in a video that began circulating in cyberspace last week.

In other news... Book Lovers of the Word (BLOW for short) is calling on Paris Hilton to explain herself after making a series of anti-reading and hateful slurs aimed at reading in a restaurant some time back. Spokesman for BLOW, Jimmy James had the following to say:
"These are not frivolous words, and to use them as if they are gives tacit sanction to the discrimination and litterariaphobia they engender. Hilton has an obligation to go on the record, explain herself, and publicly apologize to the book lovers of the world as all are offended by these slurs."
Why is it that if you don't like something -- say pasta or diet coke -- everyone is ok with that, and your decision is justified by the simple fact that you don't like it. You might even hear people support you for your decision by saying "That's alright. It's a free country. You live how you want to live." Yet, why is it that if someone says they don't like homosexuality they are immediately branded a homophobe without reason or explanation?

I personally don't like stealing or murder, yet I would never call someone a steal-aphobe or a murder--phobe by the mere fact that they don't like stealing or murder. I can't wait till Coke starts demanding an apology for all those people who don't like their drinks -- all those coke-ophobes. Besides, why can't a person still have a personal opinion about something?

All-in-all, I do find my self agreeing with Rod Dreher when he writes on his blog:
My first thought was: You are such a loser, wasting any time at all watching this moron make an ass of herself yet again. My second thought: What an ass Paris Hilton is.

My third thought: What a frightening world we're creating with this YouTube home video thing. It's a world without privacy, a world in which you have to constantly watch your back and stay in full control, because you never know who might have a camera on you, and how your moral crimes and misdemeanors will be up on the Internet for all the world to see, forever. I shudder to think about the stupid things I said when I was in my early twenties and would go to parties and drink too much. Nothing like Paris Hilton's racist jibe, but I'm quite sure there were plenty of things that would humiliate me if they were broadcast on YouTube. And even today, is there anybody who wouldn't be terrified to think that casual conversation they might be having at a social gathering might be being recorded by a bystander, and placed on YouTube? It wouldn't have to be anything bigoted, really, just a frank observation of the kind that people make all the time, with the reasonable expectation that they're speaking privately. Or even things that aren't even offensive, just embarrassing.

U2 Rock Liturgy

The Pope may have condemned rock music as "anti-religion" but the Church of England has announced it is to use the songs of a global supergroup in an effort to boost congregations.

The first "U2-charist" in England, an adapted Holy Communion service that uses the Irish rock group's best-selling songs in place of hymns, is to be staged at a Lincoln church in May.

Next Week: Popcorn and prayer followed by a TuPac Service.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Satan Wipes

For those times in life when you just can't do it on your own. Do not fear. Wipe Satan away in a lemony fresh scent with Satan Wipes.

Also check out the new formulated Anti-Sin Wipes. Guaranteed to remove venial sins in an easy to carry moist- towelette pouch.

Warning: Although Satan Wipes and Anti-Sin Wipes affect your soul and interior life, they are not for internal use. Satan Wipes and Anti-Sin Wipes are for external use only. If swallowed please contact your local Poison Control center or your local parish priest.

Note* Satan Wipes and Anti-Sin Wipes are intended for use by those over the age of reason. Also, the only sure 100% way to guarantee forgiveness is to seek out the Sacrament of Confession from a Priest. Because Jesus said so.

Products that I wished existed -- Oh wait, they do. It's called holy water.

Catholic Blog Award

This year's Catholic Blog Awards has begun taking nominations. The categories for this year are:
1. Best Overall Catholic Blog
2. Best Designed Catholic Blog
3. Best Written Catholic Blog
4. Best New Catholic Blog
5. Best Individual Catholic Blog
6. Best Group Blog
7. Best Blog by Clergy/Religious/Seminarian
8. Funniest Catholic Blog
9. Smartest Catholic Blog
10. Most Informative & Insightful Catholic Blog
11. Best Apologetic Blog
12. Best Political/Social Commentary Catholic Blog
13. Best Insider News Catholic Blog
14. Most Spiritual Blog

I am eligible for the New Catholic Blog. Most of my better posts are on the right side of your screen under "Favorite Original Posts" Also see "Celebs on Christ" -- I personaly like the. Mr. T on the Mass

And if you happen to like Beer and Theology (because they go together like Coffee and donuts -- and I hear it is the best way to do theology) here are two for you: Black and Tan: Hypostatic Union of Christ and Beer and Creation

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Office Linebacker

Apparently someone had the Evangelism Linebacker removed from YouTube. So here is Terry Tate: Office Linebacker. There is some mild language in this

The Linebacker hits the Office

Office Linebacker Draft Day.

Office Sports Programming Network Presents: Terry Tate The History of the Office Linebacker

NFL Name Game

How many NFL teams can you name by these descriptions?

Seven squared.
American gauchos.
A 747.
Suntanned bodies
Six rulers
Rank of Boy Scouts
Credit card users
A dollar for corn
A Group of Heavenly Bodies
Red B1rd
Sun Burned bodies
Poe’s Bird
Marine Mammal
Water Birds
Very Large People
Greek gods
The Maker of the Peacemakers
A Band of Looters and Misfits
The head guys
A Band of Thieves
Black Cats
Payment due Statement
A Cub Scout Rank
King of the Jungle
Computing Memories
People from the Second Largest State in the USA
Fiesty Horses
Large Spotted Cats
Black Birds of Prey, the dirty birds

Evangelism Linebacker: The Word of God Ain't for Sissys No More!


Knocking some good ole' Christian sense back into people.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Jews and Jesus.

The Jews to save the world -- even after they rejected Jesus.
David Klinghoffer, former literary editor at National Review has a new book just out — Why the Jews Rejected Jesus: The Turning Point in Western History — which, as you can imagine from the title, has gotten a little attention already. With Jesus on the mind this Holy Week, NRO Editor Kathryn Jean Lopez (a Catholic) chatted with her former office neighbor (an orthodox Jew) about his book, his claims (he tells Lopez: “Had more Jews accepted Jesus, Mel Gibson today might be praying toward Mecca.”) and goals.

Perhaps if this journalist would read some of the early church fathers (maybe Justin Martyr) the issue would not really be an issue.

Via Bill Cork's Built on a Rock

4 Stories on Sexual Conduct

All Taken from USA Today
Steamy shower has Yale students in hot water
NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP) — Sex is not a taboo subject at Yale, home to Sex Week, a biennial celebration that's one of the most provocative campus events in the nation.

But a randy couple's frolic in a shower at one of Yale's undergraduate residential colleges prompted a professor to issue an e-mail of protest, which in turn has sparked debate on the Internet.

Connecticut lawyer arraigned after courthouse kissing
A criminal defense attorney has been arraigned on a disorderly conduct charge stemming from a kissing incident in the Waterbury Superior Court building.

San Francisco hesitant about S&M studio
SAN FRANCISCO — It takes a lot to make San Franciscans blush, but a video porn company has managed to do it.

Dutch gym to introduce 'Naked Sunday' for naturists
MSTERDAM (AP) — Self-conscious about what you wear while working out? A Dutch gym plans to introduce "Naked Sunday" for people who like to huff and puff in the buff.

Friday, February 02, 2007

What's Your Papal Name?

Papal Name Generator
Your Papal Name is Pope Adrian VII

You would continue the Conservative traditions of recent years and continue the work of John Paul II... In fact, are you sure you aren't Cardinal Ratzinger?

Get your own name at What's My Papal Name?

iTunes Illegal in Norway

Apple was dealt a blow in Europe on Wednesday when Norway’s powerful consumer ombudsman ruled that its iTunes online music store was illegal because it did not allow downloaded songs to be played on rival technology companies’ devices.

Repent! The End is near: Hillary Clinton is Fashionable

Not only is she running for president, but she is also fashion.

Holiness and Perfection

"Holiness Doesn't Consist in Not Making Mistakes or Never Sinning"

Porn Pastors: I got made fun of by Ron Jermey and laughed at by 1,256 people

Feb. 2, 2007 — The American evangelical church, in its various denominations, has boldly sent missionaries to every corner of the world. But according to a team of evangelists based in Michigan, there's one industry in the homeland that's been largely ignored by the church. It's the booming business of pornography.

The real truth of the matter is that the Porn Industry has no real leg on which to stand. I know, because I got made fun of by Ron Jeremy and was laughed at by 1,256 people in the audience. On September 28, 2005 Ron Jermey and Mike Lahey hosted a "Porn Debate" at the LSU Union Theater. 1,256 students, faculty, and reporters filled the the Union that evening. Eventually the Fire Marshall had to stop allowing students into the theater due to fire codes, but that didn't stop the 100s of students who stood outside the theater from listening to and in some cases participating in the hooting and hollering that Ron and Mike caused.

When the debate finally began, Ron was introduced as the "prolific porn star" for acting in over 1900 adult film. The reaction from the majority of the audience was very shocking as he received a standing ovation for the mere fact that he was defending a long held cultural taboo. When exactly did porn become a thing to applaud? I suspected that the students wanted to hear that their own vice is not really a vice but a thing to be embraced and celebrated. Well, they got their prayer as Ron did just that. Mike, on the other side of the issue, was labeled as the "anti porn crusader" -- a less favorable title than Ron's -- and was welcomed on stage by the studentry with boos, hisses, and heckles for trying to defend a long held belief that porn is unhealthy and addictive.

I wish I could say that it was a real debate, but it wasn't. It began with each debater sharing his stance and personal experience. Both were interesting because initially Ron did no want to be an adult film star. He only became one so as to pay the bills. While Mike eventually had pornography aid in the wrecking of his life. He became addicted to it, lost his job and nearly his life with it.

What followed next was the Q&A session, where students could ask either debater any question. The Q&A ended up being Ron giving quips to any question asked of him. He was less interested in answering questions as he was with making himself look good and winning over the crowd. In other words, you can't argue with Ron, because he doesn't argue. He ridicules, which is the only real tactic a person who can't defend their views can use.

The Q&A became more of a anything goes as Ron would not even let Mike respond to the questions specifically addressed to him. In general, the studentry was much less interested in being serious as they asked Question, nearly all were addressed to Ron, like "How big is it?", "Will you have sex with me?", and "How can I become a porn star?" Any real dialogue that was hopped to be made in this debate was thrown out the window the moment Ron came on stage. Ron even stooped to calling himself a "Master Debater," which received hordes of laughter from the nearly all male crowd.

I planned a carefully worded question for both debaters: "How does porn help in creating a healthy supportive environment for a family, specifically children?" After a quick quip about my question the audience erupted in laughter. The closest Ron came to giving a serious answer to my question is when he said "I don't know. I would help people have sex." As if sex is all that matters in a family. Mike's answer was much more straight forward. He said "it didn't."

Now anyone versed in knowledge of fallacies, debating, and arguing would have become enraged in by Ron's behavior. Ron sought the approval of the audience. He appealed to the masses to prove his point, where or not it was right. After all, the american mentality is that if the majority agree upon something then it must be right. If the majority agree with Ron then Ron is right (this is the fallacy of the appeal to popularity). Ron also appealed to the emotions of the audience through laughter. Perhaps his strongest technique was his appeal to ridicule. Ron's appeal to ridicule encompased many other fallacies: appeal to popularity, appeal to emotions, appeal to flattery (yes Ron flattered the audience), and even reductio ad absurdum. There were many others, but in short, Ron's whole presence there was just one big fallacy.

Family Guy Does Moses (sotra)

Thursday, February 01, 2007

My Crappy Sex Life

My Crappy Sex Life:

A Florida based church seeks to engage the community in discussions about sex. Their goal is to show how a relationship and sex life based in Christianity enriches life and love. After all, God made sex. Why wouldn't He want us to have sex? They are even advertising on billboards down major highways in Florida.

Genesis Bible Study in Delaware

Know anyone in Wilmington, DE area that wants to learn about Genesis? Well, send them on over. I'm trying to get my hands on some audio equipment so I can record and post online for the parishioners who can't make it -- as well as any interested person. Below is a picture of the flyer I made. Yes, I know "in-depth" has a hyphen in it. Click on image for a larger picture.

G-String for Altar Cloths?

Mieczylaw Kamieniarz, who runs the lace museum in Koniakow, said: "All of Koniakow is ashamed.

"We have made Koniakow lace for altar cloths, priests' robes, even the Pope himself. And now people are going to wear Koniakow lace on their bottoms."

The Internet is Back!!!

Everyone Jump for Joy.

Mas Sells His Own Life on EBAY

He also promised to introduce the winner to all his friends and potential lovers, including eight people he had been flirting with.

"Lifestyle is very social. It includes a lot of going out," he noted on his eBay advert.

"Friends will treat you exactly as they have treated me. This includes friends who take me surfing, running, climbing and cook for me. All of these features will be transferred over to the winning applicant."

I guess if you aren't using it...
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