Monday, February 11, 2008

Confused Teen Interviews Local Bishop on the Season of Lint

[I'm reposting this because people have asked about it, it is about Lent, and it might just make you laugh.]

Bishop, As Catholics we are about to enter the Season of Lint. Would you mind telling us something about the Linten Season?

Bishop: Well, I don't know much about the season of Lint. If I remember correctly, Lint is the stuff you find in your pockets after drying your clothes. Personally, I don't see a theological reasoning to have an entire season devoted to Lint. But as Christians and Catholics we have an entire season devoted to Lent. In as few words as possible, Lent is a season of preparation for Easter Sunday, the resurrection of our Lord. Lent is a time of penance, prayer, fasting, and alms giving. It is considered one of the most holiest times of the year, and because of that we too should engage in deepening our relationship with Christ. As Christ went to the desert for 40 days so we too enter into a period of 40 days of spiritual exercise.

Teen: I'm from a post-Vatican II parish and I'm not familiar with some of the words you used, what is Arms giving? Why must we give arms during Lint?

Bishop: My child, all churches have been post-vatican II churches ever since Vatican II ended. As far as "arms giving" goes, well we don't give arms during LENT. It is "Alms giving." Although Alms giving can be done with your arms, it is by no means a giving of arms. Alms giving -- or to give other alms -- is to simply give of one's material possessions to assist the needy or poor inspired by charity, or love as most people say these days, for the sake of Christ. Always remember, helping the needy in any way is a good thing. But the act itself is empty without it done for the Sake of Christ.

Teen: Why exactly, Bishop, does Lint have so many Holes in it?

Bishop: I'm sorry. I don't understand the question.

Teen: You said that Lint was the holiest season. Why are there so many holes in it?

Bishop: Haha! No no no. Not Holes. There aren't any holes in Lent. Holiest as in the most sacred. Lent is nearing the Apex of our faith. If you must, it is the penultimate time for us Christians. Lent is leading us to the resurrection of Christ. It is leading us to the 8th day that is the first day. It is leading us to the new creation. We as Christians need to take advantage of this time and do real penance.

Teen: That brings me to my next question. Is it our moral responsibility to cheer for the Angels to win the Pennants in the years to come?

Bishop: No, I don't think so. I believe you can cheer for any baseball team and still be in good moral standing with the church. What exactly spurred this question?

Teen: You kept mentioning that during Lint we should be true pennants.

Bishop: You are a kidder. Penance not Pennants. Pennants is something a baseball team wins. Penance is something that you do when you are sorry for your actions. It is seeking forgiveness as well as doing some act to right the wrong which has been done. Our sacrament of reconciliation is sometimes call the sacrament of penance, because it is about seeking forgiveness and righting our relationship with God and the full body of Christ. With our being a true penitent one cannot find true forgiveness. I have time for one more questions.

Teen: I am on the track team at school. How can I become faster during this season.

Bishop: (Sigh!) Let me guess. You think fasting means becoming faster?

Teen: Well, yeah. What else does it mean? Our track team is really bad, and we need all the edges we can get.

Bishop: Oh my. What do they teach you kids these days? Fasting doesn't make you faster. Although, it could put you on the fast track to heaven if done properly. So what is fasting? Fasting means to abstain from certain foods. More specifically it means to cut back on the amount of food you eat for a certain period of time. Traditionally, fasting means to eat two small meals, maybe what most of us call a snack, and one normal, but nor over sized, meal. Ash Wednesday and Good Friday are two days of fasting. How do you fast? You fast first and foremost for the Love of Christ. Fasting done for its own sake is really just starvation or maybe even a diet. Fasting should always have a spiritual end incorporated with the corporal action. That is, we fast physically to reconnect our selves to the sufferings of Christ's passion. It remind us that we are mortal and our bodies are week, and it is by Christ that we live and have the Bread of Life.

Teen: Thanks your for your time bishop. I learned a lot. I hope other do too.


The Ironic Catholic said...

Very, very cute. Bravo!

Dean said...


Xavier Martel said...

I like the idea of giving arms during lent! After stations of the cross, parishioners could exchange rifles. At the Easter Vigil, catechumins would each receive a semiauto. Just think how much fun it would be to say "look at this nice over/under that my grandpa gave me for Lent!"

Kasia said...

As long as "giving arms" doesn't involve hugging strangers during the Sign of Peace... ;-)

Anonymous said...

Actually, giving arms is very traditional. "Christ has no arms but yours..."

PBXVI said...

Hey, I loved this article! Funny yet telling so much! God Bless!

PBXVI said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...