Monday, October 15, 2007

Theologian in a Box

So you're thinking about becoming a theologian but you're not ready to devote the next ten years to grad school learning multiple foreign languages, studying 12 hours a day, and writing a lengthy thesis. Or perhaps you're already a theologian and just want a quick refresher course. Either way, we're more than happy to help. Theologian in a Box offers instruction in Liturgy, Patristics, Systematics, Christology, Sacramentology, Scripture, Philosophy, and other impressive-sounding subjects. It includes:

• 2000+ years of theology in 96 Pages: This mini-textbook features legitimate information on common theological mistakes (nearly all heresies deny the incarnation), and scriptural references (where you get to use your basic knowledge of theology on other), plus sections on Logic, Social Justice, Being and Essence, Fatih and Reason, and other standard Theological fields of study.

• 10 Heroes of Theology Trading Cards: They’re all here—from The 12 Apostles (on 1 card) to John Paul II. All with their portraits and important stats, on baseball-style trading cards.

• 5 Theologies at a Glance Cards: Quick reference information on How to talk to liberal hippies, How to talk to crazy conservatives, How to Determine If an act is morally objectionable, and much more.

• 5 Extra-Credit Course Cards: Information that didn’t fit in our 96-page textbook—but our attorneys claim we have a legal obligation to share with you.

• Mini-Theology Comps: Even Pope Benedict XVI would have a tough time with these tantalizing trivia questions. They come complete with detailed answers on an accordion-folded exam.

• Diploma (one side in Latin, reverse in English): Suitable for framing and showing off.


Ellyn said...

Med School in a Box has worked so well for me...

Deacon Bill Burns said...

Perfect! That'll save me several years!

The Ironic Catholic said...

See, I looked at the picture, saw the word prestige, and laughed so hard I couldn't read the piece.

I'm sure it was funny tho.

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