Monday, November 19, 2007

Preparing for Christmas Part 2: Awaking/Rising

By now you should have already made it out to the malls and made all the preparations for driving and parking come the holiday season. If you haven't, don't worry. There is still time as long as you act quickly.

It is no surprise that if you brave the crowds on Black Friday that you will need to be in the utmost physical condition. Exercising, dieting, healthy eating, and taking vitamins are all a good way to get into peek physical condition necessary for surviving the holiday season intact complete with no missing limbs, digits or broken bones -- bruises, gashes, stitches, and mental health are another issue all together and will not be discussed in these posting. However, there is one issue to the holiday shopping season that is too often overlooked and that is the issue of morning awaking and rising. This is key, for without awaking and rising in the morning then you can't actually get to the stores each day to secure the hottest deals. So this is the most logical place to start in regards to shopping.

These days, stores are opening at increasingly earlier hours each year in a way that only seems to grow ever more exponentially. Just the other day I heard of a store that will be opening at 3 a.m. this year. These new hours certainly are ridiculous. So to help you, the shopper, to prepare for these early hours, I have developed a plan.

First, you need to be focused on shopping. Put all other things aside. You can worry about that religious stuff and your family later. After all you are shopping for your family and for Jesus Birthday. Anyway, focus on shopping the entire time. Do not focus on anything else but shopping. Your mantra should be, "Shop till I drop. Then shop some more." or "The early to rise get their kid a surprise." Make about 1000 copies of each and post it in every place you will be throughout the day: bathroom, purse, wallet, rear view mirror, etc . . . I suggest tattooing it on your forehead -- that way it is with you at all times. Failure to do so will result in your child not getting the cool new toy for Christmas and then getting beat up at school for not having been given the cool new toy for Christmas. You don't want your child getting punched in the stomach, head flushed in the toilet, and laughed at simply because you couldn't focus enough on shopping so as to acquire the brand new Wii complete with charging stations and Mario Galaxy.

Second, go to the nearest store and buy a number of alarm clocks and kitchen timers – 13 or 14 of each should do fine.

Third, place all the alarm clocks and kitchen timers in ever room of the house and in your office at work.

Fourth, set those clocks and timers to go off at three-hour intervals. It is important to have all the clocks synchronized to Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) to insure all biological rhythms are kept in pace, so you might need to implore the help of a friend to accomplish this task. By doing this, your body will eventually become accustom to awaking every three hours, and you will easily be able to shop at any time of day. Wal-Mart starts a sale at 1:30 a.m.? No Problem, you will be ready. Also the pattern you are establishing will help you make the most efficient use of your time during the holiday season.

Fifth, when any alarm sounds, regardless of the time of day, you must practice doing dry runs of what you will do come shopping day. So, whatever you are doing, drop it, and run to the shower, get dressed and be in your car ready to pull out of the driveway in ten minutes or less. It is crucial that you be able to leave your residence in exactly 10 minutes in hope of acquiring the best holiday deals. Failure to do so will result in a very unpleasant Christmas morning.

Next: (Part 3) preparing for shopping day continued.

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