Friday, December 07, 2007

How To Introduce a Bishop

Have you ever wondered, "Exactly how do I introduce my Bishop?" Well, I had to ask myself this just a little earlier today, as I was asked to introduce my Bishop tonight for our Advent Theology on Tap series. This is what I came up with in 30 minutes, which was all the time I had to prepare, and a pint of beer-- oh, and feel free to use it on your bishop if you ever have to introduce him.

note*[I called the Bishop only by his first initial below. I used his actual name when I introduced him]

{begin intro}
I feel little need to introduce Bishop S., as he is already well known and liked throughout our diocese. So instead of reiterating the same facts that we have all most likely heard at least three times a piece, I've decided to take a different approach introducing Bishop S. by sharing with you several little know facts about himself. I assure you that all these facts are real as I found them on the internet after doing a quick Google search of his name. So here they are:

1. During the 70's, Bishop S. was an international surf-star and still the only person ever to win the triple crown of surfing.

2. For a short period of time, he traveled the professional wrestling circuit and was known as "The Apostle". His finishing more was called 'God's Hand' (Ask him to show you later, it is pretty amazing.).

3. It is a little known fact that Bishop S. once defeated both Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan in a 2 on 1 basketball game.

4. He studied martial arts and trained under Bruce Lee. It is this reason that certain film studios sought our Bishop out to be the stunt double for Sly Stallone, Jackie Chan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and other really big, strong action stars.

5. The Character we all know as James Bond. Yeah, well, he has nothing to do with our Bishop.

6.Bishop S. is the only person to climb Mt. Everest twice while wearing nothing but a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and sandals.

7. Most recently he released a hybrid rap-country-folk album under the pseudonym 'B. Diddy"'

But on a more serious note . . . [then I did the real intro to what he would be doing tonight].

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