We all are called to be chaste, integrated and loving, whether we are having sex or not. To know if your sex life is chaste, integrated and loving, ask yourself a simple question: “Do my sexual choices demonstrate justice?”
At this point my students are still attentive and listening, but the justice idea just sprained their brains. The wrinkled brows and questioning eyes communicate they’re with me but not understanding. They are wondering, “What the hell does justice have to do with sex?” Justice is the virtue of establishing right relationships. Sex, like everything else in our lives from economic activity to family relationships, must be engaged in justly, in ways that make our lives—and others’—worth living. As those called to transformation in Christ, we owe it to one another to understand sex as a relational reality between persons, not as a meeting of "things."
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The sad fact is that too many of today’s young people are culturally conditioned to kneel down for oral sex or offer themselves on contemporary altars (i.e., beds) before such relationships can be born, nurtured and allowed to grow.