This is how I sum up each candidate's platform from the information I receive from the news.
McCain: I was a prisoner of war, served in the military for 20 years, I'm a politician, vote for me.
Obama: I'm cool, I'm hip, I can speak well, I'm a politician, Change, I'm black, Vote for me.
Clinton: My husband was president, I'm a hero for staying with my husband even though he repeatedly cheated on me, I'll cry if I don't get my way, I have a calculated response to everything that makes me seem like a robot, I'm a politician, I'm a woman, Vote for me.
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3 comments:
Brilliant.
I think they should publish these as voter guides and donate the rest of the campaign money to charity. Oh and perhaps add this line at the end of each, "And I will continue the ruin of this country."
btw, I like the new header.
How could you forget Ralph Nader: I live to oppose conservatives but inevitably end up helping them win elections by siphoning votes from the democrats. My economic position is best summed up by Ronald Reagan: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving regulate it. If it stops moving subsidize it. Social policy? Let's all live in yurts and smoke dope.
Or, as I call the three of them:
Lady MacBeth
Doctor Strangelove
and
The Obamessiah
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