Tuesday, November 15, 2011

PETA: Eat Dog This Holiday Season


This season, PETA is asking the question "If you wouldn't eat your dog, why eat a turkey?"  I am offended by this add, in that Peta is encouraging people to try dog this holiday season.  However, To answer the question easily:
  1. Turkey tastes good.
  2. Turkey is an economical meat.
  3. Thanksgiving just won't sound the same when Uncle Bill says, "I'll have the puppy paw.  It's my favorite part." 
  4. There isn't any other meat that will help people get through the holidays by flooding their bodies with L'Tryptophine, which in turns put them into a sleeping stupor and eases the tension.
  5. The Turkey Bowl would have to be renamed the Canine Bowl.
  6. Turkeys don't hump your leg.
  7. Dogs are cute and your can play fetch with them.  Ever tried teaching a turkey to fetch?
  8. Turkey taste better than eating nothing.

Wait, which PETA is this?  Is this the People for Eating Tasty Animals?  How do we know dog isn't a tastier meat? Here are some reasons for trying Dog this holiday seasons:
  1. New wine pairings.
  2. Playing with your food takes on a whole new meaning.
  3. Better alliteration: Puppy Pie.
  4. You'll be awake for the final Touchdown of the Cowboys game.
  5. Mostly dark meat avoids the embarrassing question "light or dark meat"
  6. Adopt your dinner from the SPCA, no need to spade and neuter your pets.  
  7. One word: Tur-dog-ken. I smell a new best seller.
I've eaten a lot of strange things living in South Louisiana: squirrel, alligator, snake, rabbit, dove.  If it moves, there is a Cajun who eats it.  It dogs were not out pets, we'd probably be eating them.

1 comment:

ofangelsandplants said...

#8 - If you get a Chihuahua, you won't have to be eating it for a very long time. On the other hand, people who love leftovers can go for St. Bernards and Great Danes. Turkeys seem to have one size - big.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...