swimwear and most specifically the bikini.
Should girls wear to what amounts to being little more than water proof
undies? Well, I’m not going to answer
that question. I’m a guy, and I really
think the bikini issues should not be an issue.
Too many of the remedies offered for immodest swimsuits only scratch the
surface of a larger problem.
why girls should not wear a bikini boils down as follows: help a guy to protect
his eyes, or be modest for the boys in your life, or some variation of that
because I feel it makes men out to be lust machines capable of only staring at
a woman’s butt, breasts, and abs. It
makes men appear weak willed, sexual beasts only interested in one thing when
they get a glimpse of a girl’s upper thigh.
This view does nothing to raise up guys and increase the expectations
from the boys in our culture. We might
as well just roll our eyes and say “boys will be boys.” If a girl really is
worried about guys staring lustfully at her, I’d have to ask the question as to
where in the world does this girl hang out that guys can’t help but stare and
lust? Like I said previously, if you
want to tackle the issue of modesty by addressing clothing only, you are
missing the point and doing it wrong; it amounts to what would be like trying
to treat cancer with two Advil.
with the clothes you wear or the swimsuit you decided not to wear to the beach,
but in the heart and mind. Later, the mind
and heart is expressed in your words, deeds, and choices. St. Francis de Sales would agree when he said,
“Our words are a faithful index of the state of our souls.”
issue. It misses the real problem. For every guy friend or boyfriend that looks
upon a girl with lust there is a girlfriend who tolerates it. For every guy that acts like a jerk towards a
girl, there is a girl who tolerates it. For every guy who calls a girl “hot” there
is a girl who is tolerant of his language.
This is where girls fail guys most on the modesty issue.
but from a few female friends in college.
Some lessons were hard learned and sometimes embarrassing or at least
awkward. How was I supposed to
know? I have only one older sibling: a
brother. Moreover, I attended an all
boys’ school from grades 6 through 12.
While is school I was too busy with athletics, music, and academics, I
didn’t have time nor the interest in dating.
So what did I know about girls upon entering college? I was supposed to get the door for them.
I never had. We were interested in
building each other and helping each other become better people. So whenever I said something inappropriate or
uncouth in their presence they would call me to task on it.
hot,” I’d say.
“Let’s not refer to people in terms
of degrees of temperature. People aren’t
bowls of soup,” my friend would reply. “What did you mean to say?”
“Well just say that.”
they made me take inventory of what I said.
When I called the girl “hot” I was objectifying her. Making her into a thing to be used and not
seeing her as a person to be loved. She
was little more than hot coffee or iced coffee, and medically speaking the only
time a person should be hot is when they are sick. On hindsight, it makes perfect sense as to
why my friends focused on language for they were journalism majors who were
taught that language and words have the power to change the way a person
thinks. This is exactly what they helped
do for me. By changing how I spoke about
girls changed how I thought about and how I viewed girls.
your guy friends to task on their immodest behavior and their immodest language. Help them to think differently about girls, so that they can see you are the beautiful person you are.
This was written in a somewhat for a reply to “The Bikini Question“